Our senses that connect us to our memories

It's amazing how much our senses interpret and how far back our brain can access. Everything seems to be connected. Our senses are what help us determine, make and find memories. To me, scent and sound seem to be the most potent for me to access certain memories.

Today I heard the song "Come in with the Rain" by Taylor Swift, the sounds of that song and the lyrics brought the scent of rain to my brain. It sounds weird, I know, but I could smell rain when I heard the song. With the song and the smell of rain lingering, a memory was brought back to my thoughts. It's nothing significant but it's something that I remember about my life.

When I lived with my mom, sister and brother in Colorado Springs I had my own room for a couple of years. I think I was 14, or around that age. During the spring and summer time the rain would come often. I remember laying in my bed at night which was next to the window and keeping my window open just a crack so I could smell the rain. I would lay there on my stomach, as close to the window as I could get. I would look up at the dark sky or just close my eyes and listen to the rain. It was calming to me I think. I really enjoyed the way the rain sounded at night and smelled; I loved how I could hear it tap on my window asking if I could come out and play in it.

From what I remember, I also remember crying during those times when I listened to the rain at night. Life was hard back then, real hard, and I didn't cry very often, but when I did cry I remember it being in the times when the rain would fall. Maybe I thought the rain would wash away my tears and all that bad things that had happened or all the things that I was upset about. Perhaps that is why it is so calming. The rain would just calm me down during that time in my life.....
Sometimes I miss those times.

Everything You Want

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

[Chorus]

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

The Holiday of Love is Just Around the Corner

So as we all know, Valentine's Day is just a couple weeks away. It seems that many people have been asking me what they should do for their secret valentine/significant other etc. I've also had a conversation on the point and reason for Valentine's Day. So first I will enlighten you on why Valentine's Day seems to be important to society and other people.
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate your love for someone else, to show someone that you care about them and think about them or just to show that you like someone in general. It’s a special day, it’s a day to help someone in your life feel loved and cared about, like they matter in the world. Now…you may ask, shouldn’t that be everyday? And my answer to you is YES, it SHOULD be everyday, but the fact is, is that it’s not. Society (well Hallmark if you want to get technical, but mostly society since they follow through with it) has chosen February 14th as the day to celebrate love. Now, you could choose a different day to celebrate love, it doesn’t have to be February 14th. In fact, in your life you could make it everyday as it should be. You could let someone know you love them or care about them or like them in a special way any day and every day. It’s more special for that person when it’s not just on Valentine’s Day but just any random day that you are thinking about them.
Now, as far as what to do for your secret crush/significant other or anyone you care about……the first suggestion I have for you is to be creative. Open your mind to different possibilities, think outside the box. Another suggestions I have is to not spend a lot of money, at least not on silly boxes of chocolates and stuffed bears (flowers it’s ok
:-P). Instead make something for her/him, something meaningful. Find out their favorite colors, get to know that person intimately and show them what you know about them and what you like about them. You could plan picnics, decorate their car or room, send them little notes in places you know they’ll be, the list goes on and you don’t have to spend a lot of money. The key is to be creative and thoughtful. That’s how you REALLY show you care about someone or like the.
As a side note, this doesn’t have to be just for Valentine’s Day either. Hopefully these tips will help ya’ll.

The Good Kid

I think the worst family member to be is being the good kid. The good kid is the one who is always invisible in the family. It's different if you are an only child and are the good kid, but being the good kid among the rest of the siblings in the family is difficult and very unfair.

Us good kids are expected to be the good kid. These expectations are reasonable to an extent but they are unfair if no one else is expected of them as well. Everyone should have the same expectations, that's what equality is right? Parents are supposed to have equal love for their children, so why do they get unequal expectations?

This brings me to the theory that there is no way in the world Parents love their children all the same. It's impossible. Secretly, unknowningly or unwantingly, parents do not love all of their children the same, there is always more love to one sibling than another. If they did love their children the same, expectations would be the same, praises would be the same and discipline would be the same. Not to say that each expectation, praise and discipline has to be identical for each child, but they need to all be on the same level. Unfortunately no matter how hard you try, they are not. This is why it is no fun to be the good kid.

Our expectations are set, and we receive a lower level of praise than do our siblings who are the "trouble makers" or who have a hard time with certain things. Their expectations are set lower, so that if they exceed a certain expectation they are praised very highly for it. The good child's expectation is at a higher bar, so high that it's nearly impossible for us to exceed that expectation, which leaves no room for praise, or at least not the same level of praise as the other siblings.

It's interesting however, when the good child doesn't live up to the high bar that their parents set for them, whether making a wrong choice, not doing as well as they thought they could, etc. It seems when we don't live up to par like we're counted on, our repercussions are more severe than when the other sibling with lower expectations doesn't live up to them.

Parents think that just because the good child does what they are supposed to do and are successful, they don't need to be praised, they don't need to worry about us, they expect us to do well without anything. FYI to the parents: they need positive attention as much as the not so well behaved children. Some of the good children are doing well and obey for multiple reasons, one of them being the need for attention and approval from their family. Unfortunately we don't get that attention unless we do something wrong, and then that attention is not positive, but negative.

There is a positive aspect of being the good kid. Although we do not receive the attention we deserve, if we look at things in the long run, we will be very successful and can lead better lives, we can be happier in our positive and successful lives. There are things in life that are in store for us, so we need to keep looking forward. We should continue to be invisible so we can have a better life for the future.

Welcome 2009

It's a new year, Welcome year 2009!

Now that I've just gotten used to writing the year 2008 on all of my papers for classes and my journal entries, It's time to change. Now I have to get used to writing 2009 on my papers, this will take some time. I'll have to erase the date many times and start all over again. I'll forget a lot to write down 2009 instead of 2008, and I know that when I use pen I'll have to somehow artistically transform an 8 into a 9. I've been able to change the 7 to the 8, but I think the 8 to a 9 will be a little more tricky.


The point of the new year is not just having to get used to the change in writing the date down, it's about change in our lives and getting used to that change. I've written previously about my feelings towards change, however this time I won't rant about how much I despise change. I'm excited for change this year, it's time to better myself and look forward to life. Like I've said before, change is necessary for growth.


Of course I have a list of things I'd like to accomplish this year, just like every other year. But this time I have a plan to go along with these new year resolutions. I've carefully written out a plan and guide on how I will be able to stick to accomplishing these resolutions. It's not a huge elaborate plan, my plan consists of little steps to accomplish to lead up to the success of the change. I find that if we take baby steps, daily steps, this is the best way to achieve goals.


So here I am taking little steps to the year 2009! Bring it on 2009!

All you need is Faith, Trust and a Little Bit of Pixie Dust

Relationships aren't magic. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is: a friendship, kinship, or even a romantic relationship, it doesn't just happen. These take time and effort of all recipients. What kind of effort? The foundation that a relationship should be built upon is Faith and Trust. From that foundation, other building blocks are needed to help form that structure. But I'm just going to talk about the foundation because it seems that many people are lacking this sturdy foundation in their lives no matter if it's a friendship or more.

First of all, as part of a disclosure that no one tells you about life, pain and hurt is inevitable. Experiencing pain and hurt is part of life, it's how we grow and learn. Life is also about making mistakes. No one is perfect and I must say that it would be quite boring around here if everyone was. One of the greatest gifts we've been giving here on earth besides life, is the ability to make choices and make mistakes. We have our free agency which gives us the ability to learn. The beauty of life is that we are made to make mistakes, but we can learn from them and not make that mistake again.

After being aware of this, you have to make the choice to trust others, knowing that you will leave yourself vulnerable to pain and hurt. If you can't trust others, how can anyone trust you? How can you have a real serious relationship without trust? If a relationship doesn't start out with this foundation, it will never be successful. This is true for every relationship, friendship, kinship etc,.

Once a trust is formed, faith can occur. Faith in the person and faith in the relationship. Faith is a hope for things that can become true. If you believe that certain things can develop from the relationship, then they will. It's a confidence in the relationship. Just like a person with confidence in themselves can help them bloom into someone very special, it applies for a relationship. We need to have confidence in the relationship if we want it to grow and bloom into something special and worth having.

After these foundations have been laid, the rest of the bricks will fall into place. It's not necessarily pixie dust or magic, it's something you work at too. But it's a lot easier to lay down those bricks once you have the foundation.

The Snowball of Change

It's so interesting how one change in your life affects many different aspects of your life. Some little tiny change can affect how you perceive yourself or how others see you, this can influence actions and further decisions with interactions. I call this the Snowball of Change Effect. It doesn't matter how small of a change it is, it seems to change almost everything else in your life. These changes can be good or bad depending on how you look at them.

Change is something I've never been very adept at dealing with whether it be a good change or not. It's one of the challenges in my life that I have to work on. And it may be quite strange to not like acceptable and favorable changes, but I don't like change. I suppose you can call me just a follower of the world, because the world doesn't seem to like change sometimes. We like to be comfortable, we like routine.

It's hard to get used to a change, it disrupts our ordinary lives and makes us question. But most of all I think it frightens us that we will perceived differently by others and will be less acceptable to the world of routine and normality. Everyone wants to feel accepted, and if you don't then you are a liar. We were made this way, to want to fit in, to want to belong. We need companions and friends by our sides, we can't make it through this life with out them. We desire them and most of all, we need them.

This is why it is so hard for us to deal with change. It challenges our position in society and our friends. This is what I'm mostly afraid of. I feel that if I make one little change, whether that be in my appearance, a word or an action, I will be perceived differently, and mostly negatively. I'm scared to lose those connections and relationships I have because they do not like what they see anymore. I fear that I won't be loved or cared about anymore. Just one little change makes the difference.