It’s interesting how the spirit can give you insights that you had resistance too before and change your heart and mind. That’s what really changes a person, when the spirit gives you a different perspective on things and softens your heart enough for you to look at them and realize you need and want to change. After hearing Elder Bednar, Elder Hafen and Elder Callister speak on Saturday and Sunday, I’ve been lost in thought. My perspectives on certain things have changed and after talking with a few friends, my heart has changed and my eyes have opened a little more.
One of the biggest changes of perspective that I’ve had is on Marriage. I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish. And I’ve always felt that the only way to accomplish them is to not get married until after I accomplish them. The reason why I felt that way is because of my parents. My mom always used to tell me that she wished she could have gone further in life and that she would have if I hadn’t been born when I was. There was truth to it, we struggled financially a lot in our family which made everything else harder and more stressful on my mom. And I could see that in her, her marriage led to having children which postponed her dreams for a VERY long time. I didn’t want that. I have this dream and picture in my head that my family will be financially stable and that we won’t have to struggle a lot to survive. I realize that nothing is perfect and there will be times of struggle financially, but I don’t want my family to have to live the way I did. In order to accomplish this, I need to have a degree, I need to have a jumpstart on my career and save money. Then I can get married to someone who is as far ahead in life as I would be.
I was very stern in this idea until this last weekend when the spirit touched me in a way I cannot describe. I’ve come to the realization that if I were to just wait for marriage and avoid marriage until after I graduate in any degree I had and until after I established my career and until after I established financial stability in my own definition, then I may never be able to get married, or I’d pass up opportunities that the Lord wants me to have. Not only that but I realized that I can accomplish my dreams even with me being married.
I talked to my friend Dane and he helped me realize that with these dreams I have it is ok to get married while I’m in the process of accomplishing them. And that I shouldn’t put off marriage just to wait for someone who can support me. As a wife, I should be able to support my husband first and then once he starts his career, he can support me. This is a 2 way street, and it doesn’t have to be all about the husband supporting the wife all of the time.
So my priorities have changed. I feel ready to get married, I’m not afraid of it anymore, and I look forward to it. I want to find someone that I can help support in many different ways, including financially. I’m only a year and a half of graduating with my bachelor’s degree. Then I can start working, and if my husband wants to go to school then I can support him through school. Once he gets out of school we can support each other. We can be equally yoked.
My mother was wrong, marriage and family doesn’t ruin opportunities or dreams, it creates them.
September
3 years ago
