Just Tired of the Same Old Thing

I've been with Garrett for over a year now. I know things will never be easy for us, but two people make up a relationship. This is not a one way street here. I can't be making all the effort, I can't be the one who feels more in this relationship. It isn't fair. And over this past year I've had to learn how to take care of myself and to think about my feelings for a change, and its been hard. And what I've learned about myself is that I'm tired of being stomped on and left in the dark. I'm tired of making all the effort to make people happy. When is it my turn to be happy?

I want to be with Garrett, I love him, but I don't get that from him. He's said he's loved me at one point, but it was more indirectly and I had to drag it out of him. That's not how it should be. Saying something and meaning it, are completely different things. If you can't show that you mean what you say then you are a liar.
I'm tired of being put off for his friends. I don't mind him hanging out with his friends cause I have my own friends to hang out with. But it seems like he never makes plans with me anymore, always with his friends. I know he has school and it's hard, believe me I know. I'm taking more credits than he is AND I am maintaining a job of almost 20 hours a week. But I make time for him when he lets me. He's taking less credits than I am, he needs to put more effort into this relationship, if that's what you can call it anymore. I don't want to be hanging by a thread here, only seeing him and being with him when it's convenient for him. That's not fair, what about me? I need love and affection. I need someone to worry about me and call me everyday and tell me how much they care about me and SHOW me!
I just don't get it. We've gotten into fights about this before and again we're back in the same position as we always are. I'm sick of it. All I'm asking is for one night or day a week he spends time with me, he worries about me, he WANTS to be with me and is not thinking about being with or hanging out with his friends or anyone else. Is that really too much to ask for?

The Beginning

So today is the day I start writing in my blog. I'll probably update my blog every week, I'm shooting for Sundays as the days for new updates. However, life doesn't always work out the way you expect.
So school started this past week. It's going to be a tough semester. My classes won't be easy....neither will my relationship this semester. I guess that's life though, at least in the real world. I've already been getting a strong wind of stress heading my way. The stress has slowly been bumping me both from school and with my relationship with Garrett. He's really driving me insane. I can't figure him out.
At least this weekend was fun and helped remove some of the stressors. I went to many fun parties this weekend and had a blast. I love hanging out with friends and playing games. I just love being around people in general. And from it all I'm so exhausted. So I'm going to bed. Until next week.....