All you need is Faith, Trust and a Little Bit of Pixie Dust

Relationships aren't magic. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is: a friendship, kinship, or even a romantic relationship, it doesn't just happen. These take time and effort of all recipients. What kind of effort? The foundation that a relationship should be built upon is Faith and Trust. From that foundation, other building blocks are needed to help form that structure. But I'm just going to talk about the foundation because it seems that many people are lacking this sturdy foundation in their lives no matter if it's a friendship or more.

First of all, as part of a disclosure that no one tells you about life, pain and hurt is inevitable. Experiencing pain and hurt is part of life, it's how we grow and learn. Life is also about making mistakes. No one is perfect and I must say that it would be quite boring around here if everyone was. One of the greatest gifts we've been giving here on earth besides life, is the ability to make choices and make mistakes. We have our free agency which gives us the ability to learn. The beauty of life is that we are made to make mistakes, but we can learn from them and not make that mistake again.

After being aware of this, you have to make the choice to trust others, knowing that you will leave yourself vulnerable to pain and hurt. If you can't trust others, how can anyone trust you? How can you have a real serious relationship without trust? If a relationship doesn't start out with this foundation, it will never be successful. This is true for every relationship, friendship, kinship etc,.

Once a trust is formed, faith can occur. Faith in the person and faith in the relationship. Faith is a hope for things that can become true. If you believe that certain things can develop from the relationship, then they will. It's a confidence in the relationship. Just like a person with confidence in themselves can help them bloom into someone very special, it applies for a relationship. We need to have confidence in the relationship if we want it to grow and bloom into something special and worth having.

After these foundations have been laid, the rest of the bricks will fall into place. It's not necessarily pixie dust or magic, it's something you work at too. But it's a lot easier to lay down those bricks once you have the foundation.

The Snowball of Change

It's so interesting how one change in your life affects many different aspects of your life. Some little tiny change can affect how you perceive yourself or how others see you, this can influence actions and further decisions with interactions. I call this the Snowball of Change Effect. It doesn't matter how small of a change it is, it seems to change almost everything else in your life. These changes can be good or bad depending on how you look at them.

Change is something I've never been very adept at dealing with whether it be a good change or not. It's one of the challenges in my life that I have to work on. And it may be quite strange to not like acceptable and favorable changes, but I don't like change. I suppose you can call me just a follower of the world, because the world doesn't seem to like change sometimes. We like to be comfortable, we like routine.

It's hard to get used to a change, it disrupts our ordinary lives and makes us question. But most of all I think it frightens us that we will perceived differently by others and will be less acceptable to the world of routine and normality. Everyone wants to feel accepted, and if you don't then you are a liar. We were made this way, to want to fit in, to want to belong. We need companions and friends by our sides, we can't make it through this life with out them. We desire them and most of all, we need them.

This is why it is so hard for us to deal with change. It challenges our position in society and our friends. This is what I'm mostly afraid of. I feel that if I make one little change, whether that be in my appearance, a word or an action, I will be perceived differently, and mostly negatively. I'm scared to lose those connections and relationships I have because they do not like what they see anymore. I fear that I won't be loved or cared about anymore. Just one little change makes the difference.

I'm just a girl

There are times when I feel that being a female is a curse. Sometimes I hate being female and would rather be male. Sure us females are able to do a lot of things, and some things that males can't, but I feel that we also get shafted.
Today I was weighing out the pros and cons of being a woman versus being a man. Unfortunately the con side won. The major ones that stood out to me as I was looking over the con side of my list are: 1) As women we have to rely on men to do things we can't physically do ourselves, or that they have more knowledge in. AND 2) It's ok for men to spend a lot of time with a girl that's a "friend" even if he has a girlfriend, but it's not ok for the woman to have a good guy "friend" if she has a boyfriend (this one is just from my observations and experience. Now, there are many other cons I found as well, but these two were ones that really frustrated me.

I'm a very independent person, I feel that I have the ability to do a lot of things on my own if not most things. I don't like having to rely on others for anything whether that be car trouble, helping me hang up shelves because I don't have the tools necessary, or lifting things I don't have the strength for. So I absolutely hate it when I have to ask a man, or anyone for that matter for help with something that I failed to develop skills in. I feel like I have to rely more on men than they have to rely on me. In fact I don't know when they ever have to rely on me.

Now, I'm not trying to sound feminist and sexist here, but I'm just trying to express how I feel sometimes when I am unable to do the things I want, and how unhappy I am when I have to rely on others. Why can't I be able to do everything?
Why can't I walk the streets late at night? Why can't I play pro football or hockey? Why do I have to worry about being abducted and raped? Why do I have to be careful?
In the words of No Doubt: "I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!"

An Early Aunt

I'm an Aunt! This is my first time being an Aunt. Now you can call me Aunt Tabi (actually please don't unless you're my nephew). So here he is my first nephew: Kevan Harvey-Lee Wiseman, Born December 3rd 2008, 6 lbs 10 ounces, 20.5 inches long.
Isn't he adorable?
I wasn't sure how I felt about being an aunt. I'm not even 21 yet and my sister is 2 years younger than me. I felt that things were going opposite than they were supposed to. I'm the one that was supposed to have the baby first, I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to be the one ahead. That doesn't mean I want that all right now, that's like 5-10 years down the road. But my sister is only 18. It's was just weird. But now that he's actually born, it might be fun to be an aunt.
My sister is on the track she is on and nothing I can do can change that. So I should just continue on my path and wish her the best of luck.
Besides.....I'm an Aunt!

The Hand-me-down

It's hard to be the hand-me-down. The hand-me-down will always be the one that is convenient or the one that fits at that moment, but it'll never be the one that the person really wants. Sure, the hand-me-down may have a great personality, may look beautiful or handsome and may even be lots of fun to be around, but after all is said and done, the person will always want something new. Whether that something new is an old piece of fabric that was never forgotten and is always missed, or whether there is a new style and the person wants something different.
Soon the hand-me-down will be passed down once again to another person who needs something that will fit for the moment.
The poor hand-me-down never gets any real love. It may be liked and satisfactory, but never loved. The person may say that they love the hand-me-down because it's expected (especially if it was from a relative). But just because it's been said, doesn't mean it's true. The hand-me-down knows the truth, it can feel the truth through the person. Even after years of being loyal piece of clothing to the person, the person only sees the cloth as old and is secretly hoping for some new clothing, or for a new piece of clothing that is more in style or carries more memories for that person.
So this brings me to the question, when will the hand-me-down get it's chance to be loved, really loved and wanted, when will the hand-me-down be in style?



Matchbox Twenty: Hand-Me-Down