The Good Kid

I think the worst family member to be is being the good kid. The good kid is the one who is always invisible in the family. It's different if you are an only child and are the good kid, but being the good kid among the rest of the siblings in the family is difficult and very unfair.

Us good kids are expected to be the good kid. These expectations are reasonable to an extent but they are unfair if no one else is expected of them as well. Everyone should have the same expectations, that's what equality is right? Parents are supposed to have equal love for their children, so why do they get unequal expectations?

This brings me to the theory that there is no way in the world Parents love their children all the same. It's impossible. Secretly, unknowningly or unwantingly, parents do not love all of their children the same, there is always more love to one sibling than another. If they did love their children the same, expectations would be the same, praises would be the same and discipline would be the same. Not to say that each expectation, praise and discipline has to be identical for each child, but they need to all be on the same level. Unfortunately no matter how hard you try, they are not. This is why it is no fun to be the good kid.

Our expectations are set, and we receive a lower level of praise than do our siblings who are the "trouble makers" or who have a hard time with certain things. Their expectations are set lower, so that if they exceed a certain expectation they are praised very highly for it. The good child's expectation is at a higher bar, so high that it's nearly impossible for us to exceed that expectation, which leaves no room for praise, or at least not the same level of praise as the other siblings.

It's interesting however, when the good child doesn't live up to the high bar that their parents set for them, whether making a wrong choice, not doing as well as they thought they could, etc. It seems when we don't live up to par like we're counted on, our repercussions are more severe than when the other sibling with lower expectations doesn't live up to them.

Parents think that just because the good child does what they are supposed to do and are successful, they don't need to be praised, they don't need to worry about us, they expect us to do well without anything. FYI to the parents: they need positive attention as much as the not so well behaved children. Some of the good children are doing well and obey for multiple reasons, one of them being the need for attention and approval from their family. Unfortunately we don't get that attention unless we do something wrong, and then that attention is not positive, but negative.

There is a positive aspect of being the good kid. Although we do not receive the attention we deserve, if we look at things in the long run, we will be very successful and can lead better lives, we can be happier in our positive and successful lives. There are things in life that are in store for us, so we need to keep looking forward. We should continue to be invisible so we can have a better life for the future.