I'm just a girl

There are times when I feel that being a female is a curse. Sometimes I hate being female and would rather be male. Sure us females are able to do a lot of things, and some things that males can't, but I feel that we also get shafted.
Today I was weighing out the pros and cons of being a woman versus being a man. Unfortunately the con side won. The major ones that stood out to me as I was looking over the con side of my list are: 1) As women we have to rely on men to do things we can't physically do ourselves, or that they have more knowledge in. AND 2) It's ok for men to spend a lot of time with a girl that's a "friend" even if he has a girlfriend, but it's not ok for the woman to have a good guy "friend" if she has a boyfriend (this one is just from my observations and experience. Now, there are many other cons I found as well, but these two were ones that really frustrated me.

I'm a very independent person, I feel that I have the ability to do a lot of things on my own if not most things. I don't like having to rely on others for anything whether that be car trouble, helping me hang up shelves because I don't have the tools necessary, or lifting things I don't have the strength for. So I absolutely hate it when I have to ask a man, or anyone for that matter for help with something that I failed to develop skills in. I feel like I have to rely more on men than they have to rely on me. In fact I don't know when they ever have to rely on me.

Now, I'm not trying to sound feminist and sexist here, but I'm just trying to express how I feel sometimes when I am unable to do the things I want, and how unhappy I am when I have to rely on others. Why can't I be able to do everything?
Why can't I walk the streets late at night? Why can't I play pro football or hockey? Why do I have to worry about being abducted and raped? Why do I have to be careful?
In the words of No Doubt: "I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!"

An Early Aunt

I'm an Aunt! This is my first time being an Aunt. Now you can call me Aunt Tabi (actually please don't unless you're my nephew). So here he is my first nephew: Kevan Harvey-Lee Wiseman, Born December 3rd 2008, 6 lbs 10 ounces, 20.5 inches long.
Isn't he adorable?
I wasn't sure how I felt about being an aunt. I'm not even 21 yet and my sister is 2 years younger than me. I felt that things were going opposite than they were supposed to. I'm the one that was supposed to have the baby first, I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to be the one ahead. That doesn't mean I want that all right now, that's like 5-10 years down the road. But my sister is only 18. It's was just weird. But now that he's actually born, it might be fun to be an aunt.
My sister is on the track she is on and nothing I can do can change that. So I should just continue on my path and wish her the best of luck.
Besides.....I'm an Aunt!

The Hand-me-down

It's hard to be the hand-me-down. The hand-me-down will always be the one that is convenient or the one that fits at that moment, but it'll never be the one that the person really wants. Sure, the hand-me-down may have a great personality, may look beautiful or handsome and may even be lots of fun to be around, but after all is said and done, the person will always want something new. Whether that something new is an old piece of fabric that was never forgotten and is always missed, or whether there is a new style and the person wants something different.
Soon the hand-me-down will be passed down once again to another person who needs something that will fit for the moment.
The poor hand-me-down never gets any real love. It may be liked and satisfactory, but never loved. The person may say that they love the hand-me-down because it's expected (especially if it was from a relative). But just because it's been said, doesn't mean it's true. The hand-me-down knows the truth, it can feel the truth through the person. Even after years of being loyal piece of clothing to the person, the person only sees the cloth as old and is secretly hoping for some new clothing, or for a new piece of clothing that is more in style or carries more memories for that person.
So this brings me to the question, when will the hand-me-down get it's chance to be loved, really loved and wanted, when will the hand-me-down be in style?



Matchbox Twenty: Hand-Me-Down

Happy Politically Correct Holidays

So Today I was in the office and the music was playing on our little boom box. It was playing waltz and music from Mozart. I sat down at my desk and asked my co-worker when we start playing Christmas music in here. I should have known the answer. She laughed a little bit and told me that we're not allowed to play Christmas music here. "Do we decorate???" I asked. "We do decorate, yes, we put up a Christmas tree and some ornaments and some lights."
I thought that was pretty interesting. So we put up christmas decorations, but we can't play christmas music. To me, that makes no sense what so ever. My co-worker told me "We try to be politically correct, try to make the ground her neutral for everyone". Again I laughed, "There's no such thing as politically correct. It helps no one and does nothing." And it doesn't. How is putting up christmas decorations makeing it neutral? How is not putting on Christmas music making it neutral?
I understand tryig to respect everyone's beliefs but no matter how hard you try, you can't. You can't please everyone. I believe everyone's beliefs are important, but we're in America, we celebrate christmas. Christmas isn't even celebrated the way it was intended for anways. It's not about Christ anymore, it's about Santa Clause, Christmas decorations, gifts and more importantly it's about family anymore these days. If you were to go to any other country, you would see their traditions of this time of year (if they have any) up all over the place without regards to others' religions. So why are we any different? Because we're a "melting pot" or "salad bowl" country. Guess what, we're really not. We have certain traditions in America. People realize that. I don't know of anyone who would be offended if we put on Christmas music and a Christmas tree in our office. They do it at Walmart and other stores? How are we any different?
If you don't celebrate Christmas, that's fine, but everyone else does. It's how our country is, let us celebrate this season how we celebrate it, and if you have an issue with it, let us know.
But this politically correct stuff is junk.

Mawwiage, Mawwiage, My Wealization

It’s interesting how the spirit can give you insights that you had resistance too before and change your heart and mind. That’s what really changes a person, when the spirit gives you a different perspective on things and softens your heart enough for you to look at them and realize you need and want to change. After hearing Elder Bednar, Elder Hafen and Elder Callister speak on Saturday and Sunday, I’ve been lost in thought. My perspectives on certain things have changed and after talking with a few friends, my heart has changed and my eyes have opened a little more.
One of the biggest changes of perspective that I’ve had is on Marriage. I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish. And I’ve always felt that the only way to accomplish them is to not get married until after I accomplish them. The reason why I felt that way is because of my parents. My mom always used to tell me that she wished she could have gone further in life and that she would have if I hadn’t been born when I was. There was truth to it, we struggled financially a lot in our family which made everything else harder and more stressful on my mom. And I could see that in her, her marriage led to having children which postponed her dreams for a VERY long time. I didn’t want that. I have this dream and picture in my head that my family will be financially stable and that we won’t have to struggle a lot to survive. I realize that nothing is perfect and there will be times of struggle financially, but I don’t want my family to have to live the way I did. In order to accomplish this, I need to have a degree, I need to have a jumpstart on my career and save money. Then I can get married to someone who is as far ahead in life as I would be.
I was very stern in this idea until this last weekend when the spirit touched me in a way I cannot describe. I’ve come to the realization that if I were to just wait for marriage and avoid marriage until after I graduate in any degree I had and until after I established my career and until after I established financial stability in my own definition, then I may never be able to get married, or I’d pass up opportunities that the Lord wants me to have. Not only that but I realized that I can accomplish my dreams even with me being married.
I talked to my friend Dane and he helped me realize that with these dreams I have it is ok to get married while I’m in the process of accomplishing them. And that I shouldn’t put off marriage just to wait for someone who can support me. As a wife, I should be able to support my husband first and then once he starts his career, he can support me. This is a 2 way street, and it doesn’t have to be all about the husband supporting the wife all of the time.
So my priorities have changed. I feel ready to get married, I’m not afraid of it anymore, and I look forward to it. I want to find someone that I can help support in many different ways, including financially. I’m only a year and a half of graduating with my bachelor’s degree. Then I can start working, and if my husband wants to go to school then I can support him through school. Once he gets out of school we can support each other. We can be equally yoked.
My mother was wrong, marriage and family doesn’t ruin opportunities or dreams, it creates them.

The World's Developmental Disability

The world's view about many things is distressful and in most cases uncivil. The US has the most issues with uncivility. We talk about equality, freedom and justice, and how important these values are to us; yet, no one is willing to act upon these values. We want equality for men and women, for races, we want freedom of speech, freedom of vote, freedom to choose, we want justice for the weak, for the honest, for the wronged. However, when it all comes down to it, individually we don't give equality to the men and women. Both sexes criticize each other and treat each other with disrespect and inequality. Individually we don't give equality to races or people of ethnic value. There are still groups that fight against the minority ethnic groups, there are still people who think that a black man is not a man, but something else. Individually we ignore those and supress those who speak out on what they believe in. Mostly in the media, talk about God is prohibited, it is shunned or looked down upon. Individually we don't give justice to those who are honest or have been wronged. And what about the weak? Who are considered weak anyway?
We think the weak are the poor or those who don't or can't speak out for themselves. Do we just consider women and children the weak ones based off of statistics? What about the disabled, the lowly of heart, the honest? Are they considered weak? Do they receive justice?
It seems to me that the world disregards those who are disabled. Why? Maybe because they really are weak, maybe because some don't look like everyone else, maybe because they can't do things everyone else can. And for these reasons, the world, the US, society looks down upon them and discriminates against them. The world has a problem with seeing the "different" as apart of the rest of society, as a human being. I put "different" in quotation marks because only the world sees them as different. They are the same as everyone else. They have a brain, a body, a heart, a personality. They have outsides and insides. They are human too.
The only thing that sets them apart is their developmental disability. They aren't able to do everything an average white male can do. And just because of that, society says they aren't human.
I think society needs to take a look at themselves, because they are the one with the developmental disability. The disablity of seeing someone as who they are, not by their differences.

Opressed Women

In my Human Behavior in the Social Environment class (SOWK 233) we are discussing the issues of minorities in the Social Environment; how society views minorities and how minorities deal with society. Yesterday our professor took us outside and had the class stand in a huge circle. We were then told to go in the middle of the circle when he calls out a name of a group that we identify with, such as people of color, GLBT, parents are divorced etc. The very first group he called were Women. I stepped into the middle of the circle along with all the other girls in my class. We faced the outside of the circle as he spoke of the views of society towards women.

He talked about how women are viewed as weak, lowly of heart, succumbed to violence and discrimination. He talked about how the reason women are more likely to be victims of batterers, violence, and discrimination, including discrimination in the work place. Even though the feminist movement gave women more rights, there are still so many things we're deprived of, especially equality and respect. It's amazing how many people, both men and women, believe that it's still ok to treat women with disrespect, to hurt them physically, mentally and emotionally. So many women are ok with this because they think that's how it is, and since they have no power there is nothing they can do about it. Men think that because they are stronger and hold more power in society that they can treat women however they want, that women should have no power. Society still believes that a woman still has a certain "place" in life. I think that even today those who claim that they don't believe women have a certain place in life and are women equality unconsciously, without meaning to address or act upon that belief.

I believe I am a witness to this thought that people unconsciously act upon the inequality view of women even if they believe in the equality and respect of women: Just yesterday my friend came to my house to do his homework with me. Sometimes we like to make fun of each other just for fun, after all we're good friends as. And friends like to joke around with each other. So yesterday we were kind of playing around and making fun of each other, however he started saying some things that caught my attention and made me think for a minute. He had said similar things to me before but I never noticed them like I noticed them now, and what they meant. One particular moment yesterday we were discussing how whenever I make fun of him for hanging out with one of his friends (who is a girl) he gets upset with me. The things I say are things like "How's your girlfriend?" or "are you guys going to make out now?" He gets upset with me when I say those things because he doesn't like the girl romantically. However, the same situation applies to him. Whenever I hang out with my guy friends he says the exact same kinds of things to me, but tells me that I'm not allowed to get mad about it. I asked him why that is. His reply were things like "because I'm stronger than you" or "because I'm smarter than you". Those words made me question why he would say those particular remarks. He doesn't think that girls should be treated with disrespect, he doesn't believe in violence against women either. But still, he alludes to inequality of women when he jokes around.
This made me come to a drafted theory that maybe no matter who you are, woman or man, if you believe in woman equality or you don't, that unconsciously we infer or indirectly indicate that women should be a minority and should not have the same rights and privileges simply because the fact that they are a woman. Oppression of women has always occurred in history, and no matter what we do, it will continue to occur.